Sunday, April 28, 2013

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 textless poster. Source: marvel-movies.wikia.com

Iron Man 3. The worst Iron Man movie ever.

I have been a fan of Marvel since young, and out of all the heroes, Iron Man was my favourite. So I had been looking forward to all the Iron Man movies, especially the very first one.  It turned out to be fantastic. Iron Man 2 wasn't as good as the first, but the drop wasn't that drastic. Iron Man 3, I felt, was extremely disappointing. The acting was great, but the plot negated all of that.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

The show cheapened the image of the Iron Man armours considerably. There was no focus on any particular armour now; instead, the newest version is the Mark 42 (!!!), which did not seem particularly powerful either. Each armour seems so... disposable now, as they shatter and get wrecked so easily by the bad guys, whose superpowers (bestowed by an experiment called Extremis) were too conveniently powerful without much convincing explanations. Hell, considering how powerful Iron Man was in The Avengers, the army (wait, it wasn't even an army, maybe just a platoon?) of Extremis could easily defeat Loki and his cronies with little effort, from the way they scrap the Iron Man armours with ease.

The way the (empty) armours came apart so easily upon impact also seemed illogical. So why was it that if you shove a fleshy human being in, the armour becomes so much more resilient? Why, when remote-controlled by Tony Stark or JARVIS,  did they fall apart when hit by a train (I am sure he has sustained bigger impacts before in the previous movies) or worse still, when they simply flew and knocked into something stationery? The train example can be put in another way - if they got wrecked just from a train impact, it meant that if Stark was inside, he would have died instantaneously. It doesn't make sense!

And Mandarin... wait, who? The Mandarin was supposed to be a Chinese (makes sense, no? Mandarin, Chinese?) but is a freaking ang moh here. In the original story, the Mandarin ventured into the mysterious Valley of Spirits, where he discovered the millennia-old wreckage of a starship of the Makluan extraterrestrial race, and the ten mighty rings which had powered the vessel. These rings gave him power, which he used to clash with Tony Stark many more times. It is obvious that the movie's Mandarin bore entirely zero resemblance to the original Mandarin, which makes me wonder why they even used his name in the first place.

(Full details of the Mandarin can be found at the Marvel website here.)

The Iron Patriot. Yes, it is basically War Machine with a new paint job of red, blue and white. The inconsistencies with this armour alone could make my head spin.

In chronological order:

1) The armour (with Rhodes inside) got shut down when some Extremis crony simply touches his armour and heats it up. 
2) After Rhodes was forced out of it, the Mandarin could mysteriously get someone to wear that armour and fly off to visit the US President. I thought it was not working?
3) US President captured. They brilliantly chose to "imprison" him inside the armour. So suddenly, the armour could not work again. Yes, maybe they did that because they knew he had no idea how to use the armour. But if you were the terrorists, would you even gamble on that by putting your hostage in such a powerful weapon? What if he experimented and blew you off with the armour's repulsors? 
4) US President gets strung high up in the air while wearing the armour, while the Mandarin prepares to execute him publicly. Rhodes managed to save him, and tells him "I need that armour!" Which means that the armour is still functional?

To my surprise (and disgust), rottentomatoes.com gave it a rating of 93/100 as of today, based on an aggregation of 54 reviews. Am I missing something here?

The post-credits hint that there will still be an Iron Man 4. Please don't let this deteriorate any further. There isn't much room for it to go further downhill.

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